The Fellowship of the Ring (1991) April 18th, 2021

Facebook is a social and mental cancer; its algorithms designed to manipulate users’ emotions to maximize screen time and exposure to paid advertisements. Most of the time the algorithms prey on the low-hanging-fruit of fear and prejudice to keep people glued to their screens. But sometimes you’re ‘lucky’ and Facebook serves its most useful function, as an RSS feed for your unique collection of interests. I think that’s how I discovered the Soviet Fellowship of the Ring had emerged on YouTube.

The dated made-for-tv movie is presented in two parts without subtitles, so you’re probably going to get lost if you’re not a LOTR devotee or fluent in Russian. I know nothing about the film’s production, how it came to see the light of day online, or anything about the cast or crew. Observations and critique are all I’m left with.

This novelty film is a must watch for LOTR fans. It’s full of outdated special effects, Tom Bombadil, sets and costumes that look like a USSRaccoon plucked them from a dumpster behind the Disney Channel. It’s precious.

I couldn’t, in good conscience, recommend this film. It’s way too long and any worthwhile moments are best viewed in YouTube compilations. These videos make it easy to skip over the long dialogue scenes and jump to the weirdest parts. This way you can just watch the best scenes where the hobbits fight goblins on blue screen, a weird bald pale person taunts Frodo in some sort of waking nightmare, and Gandalf escapes Isengard on the back of an extremely realistic moth. 2 Towers up.