Quarantined Critic Blog
Start with clichés
Eyes Without a Face (1960) October 13th, 2020
I walked into Eyes Without a Face with high expectations. Maybe it was the the badass title? Maybe it was the compelling premise? Maybe it was a half remembered quote from a commentary, interview, or a review somewhere where someone said something like “I thought I had seen everything the horror genre had to offer, … Continue Reading Eyes Without a Face (1960) October 13th, 2020
Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990), October 13th, 2020
I’d heard that Gremlins 2: The New Batch was a masterpiece satirizing sequels and consumerism. I’d heard Joe Dante didn’t want to make the sequel and only singed on to lambast the notion that Gremlins needed a sequel at all. I’d heard that it break the fourth wall when Hulk Hogan stands up in a … Continue Reading Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990), October 13th, 2020
Lifeforce (1985) October 13th, 2020
Happy anniversary to this blog! It’s been a whole miserable year since I started this escapist vanity project. To think one year ago I had the wholly original and completely unique idea to start writing a blog about the movies I was consuming in quarantine. And the rest was history, there was no holding back … Continue Reading Lifeforce (1985) October 13th, 2020
Terror is a Man (1959) October 12th, 2020
Terror is a Man quickly became my standout favorite last October. Taking its premise from Island of Lost Souls (and therefore from The Island of Doctor Moreau) and stitching it together with Frankenstein‘s plot and the locations from I Walked With a Zombie, Terror is a Man’s story focuses on a shipwrecked man washing ashore … Continue Reading Terror is a Man (1959) October 12th, 2020
The Lure (2015) October 12th, 2020
Ah, mermaid horror, too weird to live too rare to die. The Lure is a loose adaptation of The Little Mermaid fairytale set in modern Poland. Two mermaid sisters venture on land to feast on man flesh are caught in the snaring gaze of a cute boy. He’s a lounge musician whose band needs new … Continue Reading The Lure (2015) October 12th, 2020
The Blob (1958) October 12th, 2020
I love monster movies. Monsters actually created The List. Back then my wife and I decided to watch every movie in the Universal Monsters catalog. At the time a 30 movie commitment felt ambitious but now The List has grown out of control, absorbing every film in sight. Now it stands over 500 stories tall … Continue Reading The Blob (1958) October 12th, 2020
The Fly (1958) October 12th, 2020
As of this blog post I still haven’t seen David Cronenberg’s The Fly remake. Obviously there are a lot of great movies I still haven’t seen. Casablanca, Wild Strawberries, Labyrinth… the emptiness where these cultural touchstones should be are oft met with scoffing disbelief and interrogations about why I haven’t prioritized one cinema classic over … Continue Reading The Fly (1958) October 12th, 2020
Dead Ringers (1988) October 11th, 2020
Is a month of horror movies complete if you haven’t watched a Cronenberg movie? No, not unless you’ve seen them all… and then, ya know… watch something new… Luckily Dead Ringers is both Cronenberg AND new (to us at least)! We couldn’t find Dead Ringers on a streaming service without paying more than our normal … Continue Reading Dead Ringers (1988) October 11th, 2020
The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970) Oct 10, 2020
So, here’s what happened. On the last day of July 2020 the company where I worked was purchased by a larger corporate entity. The month that followed involved lots of work to ease the transition while applying for jobs, and learning I would not be joining my former coworkers in the new company. I was … Continue Reading The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970) Oct 10, 2020
Spookies (1986) October 9th, 2020
Spookies is delightfully bad. It’s one of those movies that’s fun to laugh at, not with. As I understand it, Spookies has a devoted following like Troll 2 or Tommy Wiseau’s The Room. Like those two titans-of- trash, Spookies is a successful attempt to make a genre classic… just not the genre it wanted. The … Continue Reading Spookies (1986) October 9th, 2020
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