Quarantined Critic Blog
Lost in time, lost in space…
The Comedy (2012) May 31st, 2021
The Comedy isn’t easy to watch. Its unconventional narrative structure necessitates attentiveness, as important story elements are implied rather than conveyed through traditional exposition and are instead suggested through the strength of its performers. Keeping that in mind, I’ll sum-up the film as best I can. The Comedy examines the depressing life of an unambitious … Continue Reading The Comedy (2012) May 31st, 2021
Tickled (2016) May 2nd, 2021
This might make you uncomfortable, but tickling probably has an evolutionary advantage. Maybe it’s related to shivering? Maybe a common ancestor survived longer because they were better suited to avoid danger than their non-ticklish kin? I don’t know, but evolution doesn’t lie, we’re ticklish for a reason. Tickled isn’t really a documentary about the evolution … Continue Reading Tickled (2016) May 2nd, 2021
Mortal Kombat (2021) April 26th, 2021
I may’ve been born in the late 80’s but I grew up in the 90’s, and growing up in the 90’s was like sprouting from the garden of brand loyalty. I was the target demo for Nickelodeon’s gross-out comedy, I saw Cartoon Network take its first steps, and I watched the Fox Kids after school … Continue Reading Mortal Kombat (2021) April 26th, 2021
The Fellowship of the Ring (1991) April 18th, 2021
Facebook is a social and mental cancer; its algorithms designed to manipulate users’ emotions to maximize screen time and exposure to paid advertisements. Most of the time the algorithms prey on the low-hanging-fruit of fear and prejudice to keep people glued to their screens. But sometimes you’re ‘lucky’ and Facebook serves its most useful function, … Continue Reading The Fellowship of the Ring (1991) April 18th, 2021
The Shooting (1966) April 8th, 2021
The Shooting looks like it was shot by a group of talented young filmmakers on a shoestring budget. All the low budget hallmarks are there. Dependency on location shooting for production value, no costume changes, minimal effects, overabundance of dialogue heavy scenes. I liked it a lot! The minimalist plot may be the result of … Continue Reading The Shooting (1966) April 8th, 2021
Godzilla Vs. Kong (2021) April 6th, 2021
When Jonah was swallowed by a giant fish after disappointing god and suffered a crisis of faith. He probably wondered “Do I not have free will? Did not God endow man with choice? If so, why should God punish me for exercising my will, my freedom of choice?” Jonah quickly gives in to God’s tyrannical … Continue Reading Godzilla Vs. Kong (2021) April 6th, 2021
The Ugly (1997) March 30th, 2021
The Ugly is a low budget thriller from New Zealand taking place over a two day period. Dr. Karen Schumaker, presumably a behavioral psychologist, interviews a local serial killer named Simon who’s famous for slitting his victim’s throats with a straight razor. Hence the hardcore cover art above. Through their conversations we discover Simon had … Continue Reading The Ugly (1997) March 30th, 2021
Matinee (1993) March 29, 2021
In October 2020, in the middle of our super-sized pandemic induced horror movie marathon, we watched William Castle’s The Tingler. It was my first exposure to Castle’s wonderful gimmickry and I enjoyed it even without experiencing Percepto first hand. Cut to months later and I’m learning Joe Dante directed a movie inspired by Castle and … Continue Reading Matinee (1993) March 29, 2021
The Beastmaster (1982) March 7th, 2021
I still haven’t seen The Dark Crystal, Labyrinth, or Willow and without these guiding influences I was left to discover the sword and sorcery genre much later in life. If I’m being honest my first interest in the genre was probably when The Fellowship of the Ring premiered in 2001. It’s impossible to go back … Continue Reading The Beastmaster (1982) March 7th, 2021
Fade to Black (1980) February 13th, 2021
I bought the Vinegar Syndrome Fade to Black blu-ray because it promised to be a great unsung movies about an outsider pushed to the brink of insanity by an uncaring world like Taxi Driver or Cecil B. Demented. Unfortunately for me Fade to Black‘s more a self indulgent exercise in whining than a triumphant story … Continue Reading Fade to Black (1980) February 13th, 2021
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Quarantined Critic 