Quarantined Critic Blog
Lost in time, lost in space…
GLOW: The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling (2012) March 17, 2024
GLOW: The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling is neither a good, nor bad documentary. Great documentaries like Bowling for Columbine or Super Size Me can change the world. Bad documentaries are usually easy to forget unless they’re evil religious propaganda or conspiracy theory bullshit like Loose Change. Thankfully, GLOW: The Story of the…
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023) March 4th, 2024
I waited a year before entering the exclusion zone left by the Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania bomb. Time would allow me to analyze the film after the dust of it’s immediate critical scorn settled. It certainly helped, but I’d sooner buy a condo in Chernobyl than call Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania a good…
Frankenhooker (1990) March 4th, 2024
Watching old movies is its own reward, but sometimes I luck out and discover a movie that resonates so deeply with me that I resent not seeing it sooner. I’m pleased to say Frankenhooker joins the esteemed ranks of El Topo and Spider Baby in that esoteric club. Pay no attention to what that might…
The Beekeeper (2024) March 3rd, 2024
The Beekeeper is a textbook guilty pleasure movie. Schlocky, absurd, and a hell of a lot of fun. Set in an alternate universe where apiarists are badass and Jason Statham is still a movie star, The Beekeeper flies in the face of taste and deserves more buzz. Statham’s character (he might have a name but…
Dune: Part II (2024) March 2nd, 2024
If I were to give a straightforward review of Dune 2 it would be a regurgitation of my 2021 Dune review. Dune 2 is a visual spectacle paired with stiff performances resulting in an entertaining but overwhelmingly average movie. The monochromatic aesthetics of the Harkonnen planet and the weird pulsing blacklights or whatever those were,…
Jackass 4.5 (2022) February 26th, 2024
Jackass’ traditional point-five sequels is back with Jackass 4.5 featuring behind the scenes antics, bonus stunts, and heartfelt moments of cast camaraderie. Jackass 4.5 chronicles Jackass Forever’s troubled and unexpected production by revealing they began filming in March 2020. Production stall shortly after as the world shut down due to the Covid 19 pandemic but…
Let My Puppets Come (1976) February 19th, 2024
Hyperbole is rewarded in modern American self expression. A decade ago Louis C.K. commented on the overuse of adjectives like ‘hilarious’ and ‘amazing’ suggests an underlying competitiveness inherent in self expression. How does one get attention in the cacophony of the ever louder, ever escalating social capital of public recognition? Be the loudest, most hyperbolic…
Memoirs of an Invisible Man (1992) February 15th, 2024
Sometimes renowned directors cast comedic actors against type to great success. Paul Thomas Anderson and Adam Sandler. Gus Van Sant and Robin Williams. Michel Gondry and Jim Carrey. It’s a your chocolate in my peanut butter success story. In the case of John Carpenter and Chevy Chase its more like someone got their chocolate in…
At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul (1964) February 14th, 2024
Somewhere under the dust and past the cobwebs in my mind exists the memory of when I discovered Coffin Joe. I was in high school working a summer job and staying up late playing video games or watching TV while drinking countless cans of Mountain Dew late into the night. Who knew being a sleep…
The Iron Claw (2023) January 7th, 2024
When I see an A24 film releasing in late December I see a movie the studio expects to be an Oscar contender. At minimum it’s Oscar bait. Unfortunately for A24, I’ll be shocked if The Iron Claw repeats their success with Everything Everywhere All at Once. The Iron Claw is billed as the tragic story…
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Quarantined Critic 