Socially Distant, self isolated and sheltered in place.
The Happy Birthday to Me poster is a metaphor for the film itself. A kebab of entertainment with succulent cinematography/special effects, colorful but rubbery acting, and a rotten script. All … Continue Reading Happy Birthday to Me (1981) February 13th, 2022
Through its first four installments the Scream franchise successfully built a world where homicidal killers orchestrate intricate murders dependent on breaking down the fads and trends of popular horror films. … Continue Reading Scream (2022) January 15th, 2022
In the aptly titled Yoyo, a young clown’s life follows the same ups and downs as his father’s before he too learns wealth and fortune cannot buy happiness. The film … Continue Reading Yoyo (1965) January 9th, 2022
Defined as a ‘movie produced outside of a major studio’, the term ‘Independent Film’ used to be a hallmark of quality. Suggesting a pedigreed film capable of succeeding on its … Continue Reading Secret Santa (2015) December 25th, 2021
If I could write this review in one word it would be “Yay!”. Spider-Man: No Way Home is a fun adventure that somehow finds the balance between continuing the main … Continue Reading Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) December 19th, 2021
The French Dispatch is an anthology film from writer/director Wes Anderson comprised of three short stories contextualized as tales from the final issue of the titular fictional magazine. The first … Continue Reading The French Dispatch (2021) December 9th, 2021
In 2019 Martin Scorsese caught flack for saying Marvel movies aren’t cinema. “Many of the elements that define cinema as I know it are there in Marvel pictures. What’s not … Continue Reading Dune (2021) November 7th, 2021
Delayed twice between its originals release date in April 2020 and its October 11th 2021 theatrical debut, Antlers kept me wanting more… if more was just to have the chance … Continue Reading Antlers (2021) October 30th, 2021
Peter Jackson might be New Zealand’s patron saint of cinema but he isn’t the only game in town. Nowadays everyone’s talking about Waititi, Clement, and Darby but if you look … Continue Reading Black Sheep (2006) October 29th, 2021
*SPOILERS* In Terror Night (AKA Bloody Movie) a group of friends explore a abandoned Los Angeles mansion owned by the estate of Lance Hayward, a famous film star from the … Continue Reading Terror Night (1987) October 26th, 2021
Two years after I concocted the wholly original idea of watching both House and House back to back my dream became a reality, and turned into a nightmare! Nah, it … Continue Reading House (1985) October 26th, 2021
Too much of a good thing can completely ruin the fun. Inevitably that’s what happens during October when my overexcited wife obsesses over filling every available hour watching horror movies. … Continue Reading House (1977) October 25th, 2021
Malignant is so staggeringly stupid you could be conned into believing it’s brilliant. Malignant begins when Madison, a pregnant nurse who’s come home early to rest after a painful day … Continue Reading Malignant (2021) October 9th, 2021
This review contains spoilers. Alfred Hitchcock once said ‘…in the fiction film the Director is a God; he must create life.” If that’s true then Wes Craven is the God … Continue Reading A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) October 3rd, 2021
I’ve been itching to watch Friday the 13th Part III for years, but I’ve refused to watch it in anything less than 3 Dimensions. Originally released in 3D, Friday the … Continue Reading Friday the 13th Part III (1982) October 1st, 2021
Georges Méliès’ 15 minute masterpiece Le Voyage Dans la Lune is a movie I knew precious little about. The silent film with a rocket lodged in the moon’s literal face. … Continue Reading Le Voyage Dans la Lune (1902) July 21st, 2021
Quarantined Critic 