Socially Distant, self isolated and sheltered in place.
The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special is a successful sendup of classic holiday specials complete with format staples like musical numbers, celebrity guest appearances (here’s looking at you Mark … Continue Reading The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special (2022) May 14th, 2023
In 1980 John Landis set the record for most destroyed cars in a movie with The Blues Brothers. Two years later, the architect behind 1974’s Gone in 60 Seconds would … Continue Reading The Junkman (1982) April, 30th 2023
I’ve just finished reading Hannibal by Thomas Harris. Some chapters were irritatingly short but sufficiently told an intense story culminating in Clarice becoming Hannibal’s cannibal lover. I struggled to imagine … Continue Reading Hannibal (2001) April 24th, 2023
Beau is Afraid is a masterpiece depicting, as faithfully as film allows, what it must be like to live with paranoid schizophrenia. I did not enjoy watching Beau is Afraid … Continue Reading Beau is Afraid (2023) April 23rd, 2023
I expected Eo to be a beautifully shot sappy story of a donkey suffering through a life as a service animal. Less like a seeing eye dog and more like … Continue Reading Eo (2022) April 10th, 2023
23 years ago I went to the theater and saw the first Dungeons & Dragons movie. I remember only that Marlon Wayans performance felt out of place and I left … Continue Reading Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) April 2nd, 2023
I’ve discussed my reverence for the Scream franchise when reviewing 5cream and A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. When I buy my ticket to a Scream I expect … Continue Reading Scream VI (2023) March 13th, 2023
40 years ago a group of young filmmakers in New York City shot a film about an rollerskating urban ninja vigilante but never finished it. The reels sat in a … Continue Reading New York Ninja (2021) February 13th, 2023
Making a record of the films I consumed during the pandemic lockdowns was this blog’s original purpose. Simulating talking to my friends and family about movies during a time when … Continue Reading The General (1926) February 12th, 2023
A farfetched historical farce akin to Forrest Gump and Big Fish, Little Big Man follows Dustin Hoffman’s titular character through a comical and harrowing coming of old-age story. Little Big … Continue Reading Little Big Man (1970) February 4th, 2023
The privilege of watching a movie without outside influence is essential to keeping the experience and analysis as objective as possible. It’s also a rarity. If the film comes with … Continue Reading Crosscut (1995) January 29th, 2023
Chadwick Boseman’s death significantly disrupted Marvel Studio’s plans and Black Panther: Wakanda Forever respectfully dedicates a significant portion of its plot and screen time to his passing. In Black Panther: … Continue Reading Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022) December 27th, 2022
When it comes to the traditional Christmas experience you can keep your eggnog, prime rib, and assorted cookies. I prefer treating my seasonal-indulgence-disorder with a BAD light… that’s just the … Continue Reading A Maple Valley Christmas (2022) December 18th, 2022
This Halloween we filled our evening with a Leone-esq film trifecta. The Classic (The Exorcist), The Difficult-to-Find-on-Home-Release (Near Dark), and The Garbage (Nightmare Sisters). You can tell by the cover, … Continue Reading Nightmare Sisters (1988) October 31st, 2022
Have you ever loved The Lost Boys so much that you wished for a sequel? Sure, there’s 2008’s Lost Boys: The Tribe, and if that’s not enough there’s always Lost … Continue Reading Near Dark (1987) October 31st, 2022
Our annual October Horror Marathon was truncated this year due to our move. We made up as much time as possible by committing all Halloween day to horror movies. My … Continue Reading The Exorcist (1973) October 31st, 2022
Quarantined Critic 