Skip to content

The Quarantined Critic

“Time enough at last.”

Welcome to the Quarantined Critic, the movie-review blog for pandemic survivors.
It’s only a matter of time before the next variant eradicates us all.

Relish in your continued existence
and my movie reviews.

Recent Reviews

The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special (2022) May 14th, 2023

The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special is a successful sendup of classic holiday specials complete with format staples like musical numbers, celebrity guest appearances (here’s looking at you Mark Hamill), and a heartwarming message about love and family. Despite it’s tongue-in-cheek meta comedy, The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special successfully harnesses the most…

The Junkman (1982) April, 30th 2023

In 1980 John Landis set the record for most destroyed cars in a movie with The Blues Brothers. Two years later, the architect behind 1974’s Gone in 60 Seconds would write, direct, star, and destroy 150 cars in a vanity project (disguised as a sequel) bent on breaking that same world record. The man was…

Hannibal (2001) April 24th, 2023

I’ve just finished reading Hannibal by Thomas Harris. Some chapters were irritatingly short but sufficiently told an intense story culminating in Clarice becoming Hannibal’s cannibal lover. I struggled to imagine fitting all the nuance and character development necessary to make Clarice’s transition from dutiful FBI agent to cannibalistic courtesan digestible in 90 minutes, but I…

Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.