The Quarantined Critic
“Time enough at last.”
Welcome to the Quarantined Critic, the movie-review blog for pandemic survivors.
It’s only a matter of time before the next variant eradicates us all.
Savor your days by reading my movie reviews.
Recent Reviews
Malignant (2021) October 9th, 2021
Malignant is so staggeringly stupid you could be conned into believing it’s brilliant. Malignant begins when Madison, a pregnant nurse who’s come home early to rest after a painful day of pregnancy finds her husband Derek lounging on the couch watching UFC. He’s annoyed because she’s interrupted his siesta and begins grilling her about the … Continue Reading Malignant (2021) October 9th, 2021
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) October 3rd, 2021
This review contains spoilers. Alfred Hitchcock once said ‘…in the fiction film the Director is a God; he must create life.” If that’s true then Wes Craven is the God of A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. Like the Judeo-Christian God, Craven bestowed his commandments unto the world via an emissary whose voice … Continue Reading A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) October 3rd, 2021
Friday the 13th Part III (1982) October 1st, 2021
I’ve been itching to watch Friday the 13th Part III for years, but I’ve refused to watch it in anything less than 3 Dimensions. Originally released in 3D, Friday the 13th Part III didn’t have a 3D Blu-Ray release until Scream Factory’s enormous Friday the 13th Blu-ray box set hit shelves in 2020. My wife … Continue Reading Friday the 13th Part III (1982) October 1st, 2021
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Quarantined Critic 