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The Quarantined Critic

“Time enough at last.”

Welcome to the Quarantined Critic, the movie-review blog for pandemic survivors.
It’s only a matter of time before the next variant eradicates us all.

Savor your days by reading my movie reviews.

Recent Reviews

House (1985) October 26th, 2021

Two years after I concocted the wholly original idea of watching both House and House back to back my dream became a reality, and turned into a nightmare! Nah, it wasn’t that bad, I just wanted to sound cool. I mentioned in the other House review that both movies struggle with tone and genre. Neither … Continue Reading House (1985) October 26th, 2021

House (1977) October 25th, 2021

Too much of a good thing can completely ruin the fun. Inevitably that’s what happens during October when my overexcited wife obsesses over filling every available hour watching horror movies. In the circumstance I lose the enchanting novelty of experiencing a new movie as the experience degrades into a marathon of obligation. With abstinence off … Continue Reading House (1977) October 25th, 2021

Malignant (2021) October 9th, 2021

Malignant is so staggeringly stupid you could be conned into believing it’s brilliant. Malignant begins when Madison, a pregnant nurse who’s come home early to rest after a painful day of pregnancy finds her husband Derek lounging on the couch watching UFC. He’s annoyed because she’s interrupted his siesta and begins grilling her about the … Continue Reading Malignant (2021) October 9th, 2021

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