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Christmas Chronicles: Part 2 (2020) January 2nd, 2021

Chris Columbus has a license to direct any Christmas movie he wants and I wouldn’t hesitate to see it. That’s how good his Home Alone credit is. Even the brief Christmas scenes in the first two Harry Potter films are magical. This guy knows how to sell Christmas.

Even if that movie stars an age appropriate but decidedly unfat Kurt Russell as Santa and Goldie Hawn as Mrs. Clause. Even if the Christmas elves in that movie were weird little squirrel monsters with crazy high pitched Scandinavian voices. And even if one of those weird squirrel elves turned evil and transformed into the young kiwi actor from Godzilla vs. Kong.Yep, even if all those weird choices were made in a Christmas movie, I’d still watch it because Chris Columbus directed Home Alone.

Ya know what? I’ll take it a few steps further. I’d watch any Christmas movie Chris Columbus directs even if it featured a scene where Tyrese Gibson sings a tone-deaf rendition of “Oh Christmas Tree” on a beach. I’d watch any Christmas movie Chris Columbus directs even if there was a weird sleigh race scene where Santa and the evil elf Belsnickle race through a tube of aurora while smashing into each other like pod racers. Yep I sure would watch anything, no matter how stupid, if it was in a Chris Columbus Christmas movie.

Hey you know what? If that Christmas movie, directed by Chris Columbus, added an eight cannon gunnery tower to Santa’s workshop that can be modified to shoot bath salts into the air which turn the elves into Florida Man… I’d still watch it. If that Christmas movie, directed by Chris Columbus, had a scene where Santa and the girl from the first movie travel back in time to Logan International Airport on Christmas Eve 1990 where the girl reunites with a younger version of her long dead father while Santa performs a musical number with airport staff and patrons… I’d still watch it. And If that Christmas movie, directed by Chris Columbus, was incredibly well acted beautifully shot and downright super fun… I’d still watch it, because Chris Columbus really gets Christmas.

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