Socially Distant, self isolated and sheltered in place.
I heard somewhere that Dracula is the most adapted screenplay of all time, a claim I’ll leave unchallenged because fact checking it intimidates me (Who has the time to watch … Continue Reading Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) October 14th, 2023
After detesting A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master and thoroughly enjoying Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Meyers our hopes of having a net positive experience with … Continue Reading Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984) October 13th, 2023
Murders in the Rue Morgue is exactly the kind of movie I’ve been missing. Bella Lugosi, as the mad Dr. Mirakle, kidnaps Parisian women in 19th-century France and subjects them … Continue Reading Murders in the Rue Morgue (1932) October 11th, 2023
I enjoy comparing the big three slasher franchises each October, even if that increases the likelihood of seeing a terrible movie (click the hyperlink to read my A Nightmare on … Continue Reading Halloween IV: The Return of Michael Meyers (1988) October 9th, 2023
At its worst our annual horrorthon is discouraging and exhausting. Subjecting ourselves to a high chance of stinkers and a low chance of great movies takes its toll. For every … Continue Reading Encounters of the Spooky Kind (1980) October 8th, 2023
The Criterion Channel went all out this October featuring four distinct horror collections; High School Horror, Art-House Horror, Pre-Code Horror, and ’90s Horror. This brutal buffet is packed with pantry … Continue Reading Dust Devil (1992) October 7th, 2023
Werewolf by Night successfully homages the James Whale and Tod Browning universal monster films from the 1930s. Unfortunately, Werewolf by Night is ruined by Marvel Studio’s cowardly refusal to embrace … Continue Reading Werewolf by Night (2022) October 6th, 2023
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master picks up where A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors left off, by quickly killing off the survivors and nullifying … Continue Reading A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988) October 2nd, 2023
I expected a movie with a title like The Cars That Ate Paris to be equal parts Christine and Godzilla. Instead, Peter Weir’s small-town Austrailian horror film is more like … Continue Reading The Cars That Ate Paris (1974) October 1st, 2023
I don’t know exactly how this happened, but somewhere in the hustle and bustle of moving last year I lost track of myself and never wrote a review for Doctor … Continue Reading Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022) May 8th, 2022
Reminiscent of the pointless animal themed farmhouse gorefest Slaughterhouse, Luther the Geek is one of those stories that never needed to be told. Luther the Geek begins in the past … Continue Reading Luther the Geek (1989) May 16th, 2023
I’ve just finished reading Hannibal by Thomas Harris. Some chapters were irritatingly short but sufficiently told an intense story culminating in Clarice becoming Hannibal’s cannibal lover. I struggled to imagine … Continue Reading Hannibal (2001) April 24th, 2023
Beau is Afraid is a masterpiece depicting, as faithfully as film allows, what it must be like to live with paranoid schizophrenia. I did not enjoy watching Beau is Afraid … Continue Reading Beau is Afraid (2023) April 23rd, 2023
I’ve discussed my reverence for the Scream franchise when reviewing 5cream and A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. When I buy my ticket to a Scream I expect … Continue Reading Scream VI (2023) March 13th, 2023
This Halloween we filled our evening with a Leone-esq film trifecta. The Classic (The Exorcist), The Difficult-to-Find-on-Home-Release (Near Dark), and The Garbage (Nightmare Sisters). You can tell by the cover, … Continue Reading Nightmare Sisters (1988) October 31st, 2022
Our annual October Horror Marathon was truncated this year due to our move. We made up as much time as possible by committing all Halloween day to horror movies. My … Continue Reading The Exorcist (1973) October 31st, 2022
Quarantined Critic 