Socially Distant, self isolated and sheltered in place.
The Happy Birthday to Me poster is a metaphor for the film itself. A kebab of entertainment with succulent cinematography/special effects, colorful but rubbery acting, and a rotten script. All … Continue Reading Happy Birthday to Me (1981) February 13th, 2022
Through its first four installments the Scream franchise successfully built a world where homicidal killers orchestrate intricate murders dependent on breaking down the fads and trends of popular horror films. … Continue Reading Scream (2022) January 15th, 2022
Defined as a ‘movie produced outside of a major studio’, the term ‘Independent Film’ used to be a hallmark of quality. Suggesting a pedigreed film capable of succeeding on its … Continue Reading Secret Santa (2015) December 25th, 2021
Delayed twice between its originals release date in April 2020 and its October 11th 2021 theatrical debut, Antlers kept me wanting more… if more was just to have the chance … Continue Reading Antlers (2021) October 30th, 2021
Peter Jackson might be New Zealand’s patron saint of cinema but he isn’t the only game in town. Nowadays everyone’s talking about Waititi, Clement, and Darby but if you look … Continue Reading Black Sheep (2006) October 29th, 2021
*SPOILERS* In Terror Night (AKA Bloody Movie) a group of friends explore a abandoned Los Angeles mansion owned by the estate of Lance Hayward, a famous film star from the … Continue Reading Terror Night (1987) October 26th, 2021
Two years after I concocted the wholly original idea of watching both House and House back to back my dream became a reality, and turned into a nightmare! Nah, it … Continue Reading House (1985) October 26th, 2021
Malignant is so staggeringly stupid you could be conned into believing it’s brilliant. Malignant begins when Madison, a pregnant nurse who’s come home early to rest after a painful day … Continue Reading Malignant (2021) October 9th, 2021
This review contains spoilers. Alfred Hitchcock once said ‘…in the fiction film the Director is a God; he must create life.” If that’s true then Wes Craven is the God … Continue Reading A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) October 3rd, 2021
I’ve been itching to watch Friday the 13th Part III for years, but I’ve refused to watch it in anything less than 3 Dimensions. Originally released in 3D, Friday the … Continue Reading Friday the 13th Part III (1982) October 1st, 2021
Werewolves Within is the first film, excluding private showings, I’ve seen in theaters since the pandemic began and it was exactly what I wanted. A well-written clever comedy-horror whodunnit. It’s … Continue Reading Werewolves Within (2021) July 5th, 2021
The Ugly is a low budget thriller from New Zealand taking place over a two day period. Dr. Karen Schumaker, presumably a behavioral psychologist, interviews a local serial killer named … Continue Reading The Ugly (1997) March 30th, 2021
You know Mill Creek? They’re the home video company calling themselves “The Leader in Value Entertainment.” They produce many inexpensive genre-themed DVD box sets you might find in a tub … Continue Reading The Amazing Mr. X (1948) October 31st, 2020
I bought I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle for its outrageous title, because it ‘stars’ Anthony Daniels as a priest, and because one of the thumbnails in the online listings showed … Continue Reading I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990) October 31st, 2020
Guillermo del Toro loves fairytales. He’s quick to share his insights on the subject in interviews or on commentaries and his ability to create films with an authentic fairy tale … Continue Reading Cronos (1993) October 31st, 2020
Halloween is a classic, I personally enjoyed Halloween II more, but Halloween III: Season of the Witch was neither classic nor enjoyable. If you’re unfamiliar with the legend allow me … Continue Reading Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) October 31st, 2020
Quarantined Critic 