Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023) March 4th, 2024

I waited a year before entering the exclusion zone left by the Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania bomb. Time would allow me to analyze the film after the dust of it’s immediate critical scorn settled. It certainly helped, but I’d sooner buy a condo in Chernobyl than call Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania a good movie.

A quick recap: Scott Lang’s daughter transports their new family to a subatomic world called the Quantum Realm where, Michelle Pfeiffer ‘s character, Janet was trapped for 30 years. There they encounter a Kang variant who’s been trapped there too, only now they’ve brought with them the technological means for his escape and subsequent conquering of all the universe and the timelines… or whatever new big-bullshit they planned. The ant-family (farm? colony? hive?) must reunite and defeat enemies, both old, new, and Bill Murray, before saving existence and returning home for Baskin Robbins.

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania was bad-booking from the get-go. Ant-Man is the comic relief Avenger, he’s the guy who pooped himself in Avengers: Endgame, remember? If you put him up against your next top bad guy, Ant-Man better lose. If he doesn’t, then how can you expect your audience to take your cool new bad guy seriously in the next movie? Next time they see Kang ,they’ll think, “That’s the guy who couldn’t even beat the pants-shitting tiny-man who talks to ants.” You simply don’t put Mike Tyson up against a Disney Channel YouTuber and let the ear-biter take the L. That would be a stupid waste of time for everyone.

But that’s exactly what Marvel did. They let Ant-Man squash Kang and degrade his stock in the eyes of the fans. This might’ve been a godsend for the studio considering Jonathan Major’s scandals, but happy accidents don’t excuse poor decisions. If the trend of poorly planned and executed Avengers features continues then the future of Marvel Studios might look a lot more like FOX than anyone wanted when they acquired the studio.

For ten years Marvel Studios dominated the box-office and developed an aesthetic so profitable that every burgeoning franchise or action comedy was eager to ape the House of Ideas. They were on top of the world, in 2016 they even compelled their biggest competition to push Suicide Squad‘s release date was Warner Brothers scrambled to reverse engineer David Ayer’s gritty action film into an ultraviolet snarkfest after James Gunn’s success’ with Guardians of the Galaxy. But that was then. Now, after a slew of must-miss releases (The Marvels, Black Widow, The Eternals) and the insultingly low effort Thor: Love and Thunder, Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania makes me think The Marvel Cinematic Universe should’ve ended with Avengers: Endgame.

I don’t relish this. I had high hopes for Jonathan Majors as Kang. I was excited to see a new multi-movie arc for Thanos’ BBEG successor. I regret convincing myself any plan for Kang rising to that level could begin with him losing to ‘the ant guy’. They’re still here tho, and I’m still looking forward to Deadpool & Wolverine, ready to get my hopes crushed by another terrible Fantastic Four movie, eagerly awaiting the cancelation of Mahershala Ali’s Blade.