Socially Distant, self isolated and sheltered in place.
I have a large to-watch list but within that list are a small number of movies with one shared commonality: people can’t believe I haven’t seen them. Films like Psycho, … Continue Reading The Karate Kid (1984) September 9th, 2023
Over a decade after Jackass 3D’s release, Johnny Knoxville and Jeff Tremaine reunite with most of their original crew (and a handful of new idiots) to relive their glory days … Continue Reading Jackass Forever (2022) September 5th, 2023
In 2019 Martin Scorsese caught flack for saying Marvel movies aren’t cinema. “Many of the elements that define cinema as I know it are there in Marvel pictures. What’s not … Continue Reading Dune (2021) November 7th, 2021
I don’t like bacon. It seems simple enough to prepare but the narrow sweet spot between overdone and undercooked escapes many. Countless diner orders ventured too far to one extreme … Continue Reading Pig (2021) July 17th, 2021
It’s difficult for me to criticize an A24 film. I, like a lot of people, was blown away by Ex Machina in 2015 and they’ve continued to produce at the … Continue Reading The Green Knight (2021) July 17th, 2021
Werewolves Within is the first film, excluding private showings, I’ve seen in theaters since the pandemic began and it was exactly what I wanted. A well-written clever comedy-horror whodunnit. It’s … Continue Reading Werewolves Within (2021) July 5th, 2021
By the time I began reading The Uncanny X-Men in my adolescence, the team had left behind their teenage years. Cyclops and Jean Grey’s marriage was ending, Wolverine was training … Continue Reading The New Mutants (2020) June 27th, 2021
Author’s note June 26th 2023 Hi, I don’t know who you are or why you’re reading this but I know you’re out there. Since publication this Norbit review has quickly … Continue Reading Norbit (2007) June 1st, 2021
The limits of cetacean intelligence have fascinated me since I was five and first saw Free Willy. If you’re unfamiliar, Free Willy‘s the story of a troubled foster kid from … Continue Reading The Day of the Dolphin (1973) June 1st, 2021
Yeah I know, it’s another weird sex comedy… but it was in the box of Vinegar Syndrome movies Santa gave us in 2019 so… we’re obligated to watch it right? … Continue Reading Vice Academy (1989) February 5th, 2021
My Dad’s overseen my film education since early childhood. While some parents absentmindedly planted their kids in front of TVs playing any old thing, my Dad took care to curate … Continue Reading The Red Shoes (1948) January 9th, 2021
Imagine, it’s Halloween 2020 the last day of October. My wife’s taken the day off and we’ve planed to spend the whole day watching horror movies. Where do we start? … Continue Reading Kwaidan (1964) October 31st, 2020
In The Driller Killer artist Reno Miller (Abel Ferrara) struggles mirror those of every young creative professional: making art and paying bills. The stress of managing his artistic vision with … Continue Reading The Driller Killer (1979) October 27th, 2020
Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key is a giallo film. Giallo, Italian for yellow, became shorthand for the genre of pulp mystery-thriller novels with … Continue Reading Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key (1972) October 19th, 2020
We watched The Curse of Frankenstein last October. I’ve forgotten most everything about this movie in the 7 months since. Apparently there’s a nice Warner Archive Blu-ray release available for … Continue Reading The Curse of Frankenstein (1957) October 14th, 2020
I’d heard that Gremlins 2: The New Batch was a masterpiece satirizing sequels and consumerism. I’d heard Joe Dante didn’t want to make the sequel and only singed on to … Continue Reading Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990), October 13th, 2020
Quarantined Critic 