Socially Distant, self isolated and sheltered in place.
House of Usher is padded with 45 extraneous minutes of repetitive dialogue and faux dramatic tension. Vincent Price reluctantly welcomes his sister’s suitor into their gothic estate and spends half … Continue Reading House of Usher (1960) October 10th, 2022
I took an English class in college focusing on The Great American Novel. The Great American Novel is a superlative bestowed on only the most exemplary works of American Fiction … Continue Reading Paper Moon (1973) October 2nd, 2022
I’ve wanted another rewatchable Predator film since my first exposure to the original classic but each sequel (and I’ve seen them all) has been a repugnant failure on every level. … Continue Reading Prey (2022) August 10th, 2022
Unfortunately for Director Taika Waititi great falls come from great heights. The expectations that his newest movie Thor: Love and Thunder would be good came from experience. He starred in … Continue Reading Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) July 10th, 2022
Jurassic Park brought colorful dinosaurs to life on screen and used them to camouflage a poignant science fiction morality tale. 30 years later Jurassic World: Dominion is a Jurassic Park … Continue Reading Jurassic World: Dominion (2022) June 12th, 2022
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent gets as close to a masterpiece as any Nicholas Cage movie can. The meta narrative pulls from some real aspects of Nicholas Cage’s life … Continue Reading The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022) May 27th, 2022
Produced exclusively for Disney+, Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers follows the titular chipmunks as their attempt to revive their acting careers devolves into a mission to rescue a kidnapped friend. … Continue Reading Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022) May 21st, 2022
I watched North By Northwest with my Dad at an Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, TX. It was our first time in one of their theaters and my first time seeing … Continue Reading North by Northwest (1959) March 20, 2022
The Happy Birthday to Me poster is a metaphor for the film itself. A kebab of entertainment with succulent cinematography/special effects, colorful but rubbery acting, and a rotten script. All … Continue Reading Happy Birthday to Me (1981) February 13th, 2022
Through its first four installments the Scream franchise successfully built a world where homicidal killers orchestrate intricate murders dependent on breaking down the fads and trends of popular horror films. … Continue Reading Scream (2022) January 15th, 2022
In the aptly titled Yoyo, a young clown’s life follows the same ups and downs as his father’s before he too learns wealth and fortune cannot buy happiness. The film … Continue Reading Yoyo (1965) January 9th, 2022
The French Dispatch is an anthology film from writer/director Wes Anderson comprised of three short stories contextualized as tales from the final issue of the titular fictional magazine. The first … Continue Reading The French Dispatch (2021) December 9th, 2021
In 2019 Martin Scorsese caught flack for saying Marvel movies aren’t cinema. “Many of the elements that define cinema as I know it are there in Marvel pictures. What’s not … Continue Reading Dune (2021) November 7th, 2021
Delayed twice between its originals release date in April 2020 and its October 11th 2021 theatrical debut, Antlers kept me wanting more… if more was just to have the chance … Continue Reading Antlers (2021) October 30th, 2021
Peter Jackson might be New Zealand’s patron saint of cinema but he isn’t the only game in town. Nowadays everyone’s talking about Waititi, Clement, and Darby but if you look … Continue Reading Black Sheep (2006) October 29th, 2021
*SPOILERS* In Terror Night (AKA Bloody Movie) a group of friends explore a abandoned Los Angeles mansion owned by the estate of Lance Hayward, a famous film star from the … Continue Reading Terror Night (1987) October 26th, 2021
Quarantined Critic 