Socially Distant, self isolated and sheltered in place.
I don’t like bacon. It seems simple enough to prepare but the narrow sweet spot between overdone and undercooked escapes many. Countless diner orders ventured too far to one extreme … Continue Reading Pig (2021) July 17th, 2021
Werewolves Within is the first film, excluding private showings, I’ve seen in theaters since the pandemic began and it was exactly what I wanted. A well-written clever comedy-horror whodunnit. It’s … Continue Reading Werewolves Within (2021) July 5th, 2021
The limits of cetacean intelligence have fascinated me since I was five and first saw Free Willy. If you’re unfamiliar, Free Willy‘s the story of a troubled foster kid from … Continue Reading The Day of the Dolphin (1973) June 1st, 2021
The Comedy isn’t easy to watch. Its unconventional narrative structure necessitates attentiveness, as important story elements are implied rather than conveyed through traditional exposition and are instead suggested through the … Continue Reading The Comedy (2012) May 31st, 2021
This might make you uncomfortable, but tickling probably has an evolutionary advantage. Maybe it’s related to shivering? Maybe a common ancestor survived longer because they were better suited to avoid … Continue Reading Tickled (2016) May 2nd, 2021
I may’ve been born in the late 80’s but I grew up in the 90’s, and growing up in the 90’s was like sprouting from the garden of brand loyalty. … Continue Reading Mortal Kombat (2021) April 26th, 2021
Facebook is a social and mental cancer; its algorithms designed to manipulate users’ emotions to maximize screen time and exposure to paid advertisements. Most of the time the algorithms prey … Continue Reading The Fellowship of the Ring (1991) April 18th, 2021
The Shooting looks like it was shot by a group of talented young filmmakers on a shoestring budget. All the low budget hallmarks are there. Dependency on location shooting for … Continue Reading The Shooting (1966) April 8th, 2021
When Jonah was swallowed by a giant fish after disappointing god and suffered a crisis of faith. He probably wondered “Do I not have free will? Did not God endow … Continue Reading Godzilla Vs. Kong (2021) April 6th, 2021
In October 2020, in the middle of our super-sized pandemic induced horror movie marathon, we watched William Castle’s The Tingler. It was my first exposure to Castle’s wonderful gimmickry and … Continue Reading Matinee (1993) March 29, 2021
It’s December 2019. Christmas is just around the corner, we’re planning our wedding in March, and no one is thinking about Wuhan much at all. Before I head home from … Continue Reading Angel (1983) January 20th, 2021
I think we look at storytelling genres the wrong way. Horror isn’t a genre, it’s a feeling, an emotional element used for impact and tone. Mystery isn’t a genre, it’s … Continue Reading Drums Along the Mohawk (1939) January 13th, 2021
My Dad’s overseen my film education since early childhood. While some parents absentmindedly planted their kids in front of TVs playing any old thing, my Dad took care to curate … Continue Reading The Red Shoes (1948) January 9th, 2021
Bicycle Thieves is the ultimate feel-bad movie. A poor day laborer living in the ghettos of post-war Italy competes against his impoverished neighbors for scant manual labor jobs. He secures … Continue Reading Bicycle Thieves (1948) January 1st, 2021
Believe it or not Wonder Woman 1984 had issues besides its unforgivable and wholly avoidable tacit rape endorsement. You can read about that quagmire in my Wonder Woman 1984 part … Continue Reading Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) December 30th, 2020 Part II
Wonder Woman’s supposed to be a hero. She’s supposed to protect the vulnerable and promote virtue. She’s a positive example of wholesome values like inclusivity and justice that everyone should … Continue Reading Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) December 30th, 2020 Part I
Quarantined Critic 