At its worst our annual horrorthon is discouraging and exhausting. Subjecting ourselves to a high chance of stinkers and a low chance of great movies takes its toll. For every … Continue Reading Encounters of the Spooky Kind (1980) October 8th, 2023
I have a large to-watch list but within that list are a small number of movies with one shared commonality: people can’t believe I haven’t seen them. Films like Psycho, … Continue Reading The Karate Kid (1984) September 9th, 2023
Over a decade after Jackass 3D’s release, Johnny Knoxville and Jeff Tremaine reunite with most of their original crew (and a handful of new idiots) to relive their glory days … Continue Reading Jackass Forever (2022) September 5th, 2023
In 2019 Martin Scorsese caught flack for saying Marvel movies aren’t cinema. “Many of the elements that define cinema as I know it are there in Marvel pictures. What’s not … Continue Reading Dune (2021) November 7th, 2021
I don’t like bacon. It seems simple enough to prepare but the narrow sweet spot between overdone and undercooked escapes many. Countless diner orders ventured too far to one extreme … Continue Reading Pig (2021) July 17th, 2021
It’s difficult for me to criticize an A24 film. I, like a lot of people, was blown away by Ex Machina in 2015 and they’ve continued to produce at the … Continue Reading The Green Knight (2021) July 17th, 2021
Werewolves Within is the first film, excluding private showings, I’ve seen in theaters since the pandemic began and it was exactly what I wanted. A well-written clever comedy-horror whodunnit. It’s … Continue Reading Werewolves Within (2021) July 5th, 2021
By the time I began reading The Uncanny X-Men in my adolescence, the team had left behind their teenage years. Cyclops and Jean Grey’s marriage was ending, Wolverine was training … Continue Reading The New Mutants (2020) June 27th, 2021
Author’s note June 26th 2023 Hi, I don’t know who you are or why you’re reading this but I know you’re out there. Since publication this Norbit review has quickly … Continue Reading Norbit (2007) June 1st, 2021
The limits of cetacean intelligence have fascinated me since I was five and first saw Free Willy. If you’re unfamiliar, Free Willy‘s the story of a troubled foster kid from … Continue Reading The Day of the Dolphin (1973) June 1st, 2021
I think we look at storytelling genres the wrong way. Horror isn’t a genre, it’s a feeling, an emotional element used for impact and tone. Mystery isn’t a genre, it’s … Continue Reading Drums Along the Mohawk (1939) January 13th, 2021
My Dad’s overseen my film education since early childhood. While some parents absentmindedly planted their kids in front of TVs playing any old thing, my Dad took care to curate … Continue Reading The Red Shoes (1948) January 9th, 2021
We watched The Curse of Frankenstein last October. I’ve forgotten most everything about this movie in the 7 months since. Apparently there’s a nice Warner Archive Blu-ray release available for … Continue Reading The Curse of Frankenstein (1957) October 14th, 2020
Oh boy has it been a shitty year. When I started this blog in March I questioned the shelf life of a name like “Quarantined Critic”. It isn’t a great … Continue Reading Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020) September 6th, 2020
Of all the words that appropriately describe la Belle et la Bête none more succinctly encapsulates its jaw-dropping perfection than beautiful. Of course it’s an etherial, atmospheric and magical fantasy … Continue Reading le Belle et la Bête (1946) June 20th, 2020
I shouldn’t have to tell you that we’re still in the midst of a global pandemic. The death toll in the United States is over 121k as of this writing. … Continue Reading An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn (2018) June 19th, 2020