Socially Distant, self isolated and sheltered in place.
In October 2020, in the middle of our super-sized pandemic induced horror movie marathon, we watched William Castle’s The Tingler. It was my first exposure to Castle’s wonderful gimmickry and … Continue Reading Matinee (1993) March 29, 2021
I still haven’t seen The Dark Crystal, Labyrinth, or Willow and without these guiding influences I was left to discover the sword and sorcery genre much later in life. If … Continue Reading The Beastmaster (1982) March 7th, 2021
I bought the Vinegar Syndrome Fade to Black blu-ray because it promised to be a great unsung movies about an outsider pushed to the brink of insanity by an uncaring … Continue Reading Fade to Black (1980) February 13th, 2021
Yeah I know, it’s another weird sex comedy… but it was in the box of Vinegar Syndrome movies Santa gave us in 2019 so… we’re obligated to watch it right? … Continue Reading Vice Academy (1989) February 5th, 2021
Invisible Maniac is a ribald ‘modern’ spoof of the classic H.G. Wells story, exactly what you’d expect from the poster. Scientist Dr. Kevin Dornwinkle uses himself as a test subject … Continue Reading The Invisible Maniac (1990) January 25th, 2021
It’s December 2019. Christmas is just around the corner, we’re planning our wedding in March, and no one is thinking about Wuhan much at all. Before I head home from … Continue Reading Angel (1983) January 20th, 2021
I think we look at storytelling genres the wrong way. Horror isn’t a genre, it’s a feeling, an emotional element used for impact and tone. Mystery isn’t a genre, it’s … Continue Reading Drums Along the Mohawk (1939) January 13th, 2021
My Dad’s overseen my film education since early childhood. While some parents absentmindedly planted their kids in front of TVs playing any old thing, my Dad took care to curate … Continue Reading The Red Shoes (1948) January 9th, 2021
White Christmas’ plot is crazy. It’s basically a story about two singing soldiers who throw a surprise performance to save their retired CO’s failing inn all while romancing a pair … Continue Reading White Christmas (1954) January 3rd, 2021
Chris Columbus has a license to direct any Christmas movie he wants and I wouldn’t hesitate to see it. That’s how good his Home Alone credit is. Even the brief … Continue Reading Christmas Chronicles: Part 2 (2020) January 2nd, 2021
Bicycle Thieves is the ultimate feel-bad movie. A poor day laborer living in the ghettos of post-war Italy competes against his impoverished neighbors for scant manual labor jobs. He secures … Continue Reading Bicycle Thieves (1948) January 1st, 2021
Believe it or not Wonder Woman 1984 had issues besides its unforgivable and wholly avoidable tacit rape endorsement. You can read about that quagmire in my Wonder Woman 1984 part … Continue Reading Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) December 30th, 2020 Part II
Wonder Woman’s supposed to be a hero. She’s supposed to protect the vulnerable and promote virtue. She’s a positive example of wholesome values like inclusivity and justice that everyone should … Continue Reading Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) December 30th, 2020 Part I
Class of 1999 rules. The poster says it all. A government experiment finally makes school safe for everyone… except the students. The premise: It’s 1999 (obviously) and teenagers are out … Continue Reading Class of 1999 (1990) December 10th, 2020
The Last Chance Detective: Legend of the Desert Bigfoot is another VHS I unearthed from Goodwill. Produced by Focus on the Family, the Last Chance Detective series follows protagonist Mike … Continue Reading The Last Chance Detective: Legend of the Desert Bigfoot (1995) November 7th, 2020
In Prayer of the Rollerboys the United States economy has collapsed after previous generations gambled their future and lost. Most property in the US was sold to foreign investors and … Continue Reading Prayer of the Rollerboys (1990) November 5th, 2020
Quarantined Critic 